From London's suburbs it's off to work Gridlock traffic drives you beserk Trains and autobahn old and slow There's an alternative way to go Let's make a journey on the Croydon Tramlink The future's plastic, the future's electric It's like riding in a giant Scalextric It's the only way to go And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Let's got to Beckenham-nam-nam to Mitcham-ham-ham And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Quiet, efficient and safe and green Ride the future a town planner's dream Trees and concrete, let's go to town Visit the shops that were not burnt down Wondering where all the money's gone? Make two journeys and pay for one Providing they're within 70 minutes on a prepaid Oystercard It's the only way to go And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Let's got to Beckenham-nam-nam to Mitcham-ham-ham And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram From Elmers End to Merton Park, past Phipps Bridge At Wandle Park IKEA, get a pink fridge Let's go from Sandilands to Addington Village It's so exciting there might be a spillage Let's go from Wimbledon to Beckenham Junction While we debate if we're in Surrey or London See Civic gems like the Croydon Clock Tower And the BRIT School which gave the world Dane Bowers Travel in style to fabulous places Watch out for the occasional racist Every journey an adventure, and so It's the only way to go And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Let's got to Beckenham-nam-nam to Mitcham-ham-ham And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram From London's suburbs it's off to work Gridlock traffic drives you beserk Trains and autobahn old and slow There's an alternative way to go Let's make a journey on the Croydon Tramlink The future's plastic, the future's electric It's like riding in a giant Scalextric It's the only way to go And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Let's got to Beckenham-nam-nam to Mitcham-ham-ham And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Quiet, efficient and safe and green Ride the future a town planner's dream Trees and concrete, let's go to town Visit the shops that were not burnt down Wondering where all the money's gone? Make two journeys and pay for one Providing they're within 70 minutes on a prepaid Oystercard It's the only way to go And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Let's got to Beckenham-nam-nam to Mitcham-ham-ham And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram From Elmers End to Merton Park, past Phipps Bridge At Wandle Park IKEA, get a pink fridge Let's go from Sandilands to Addington Village It's so exciting there might be a spillage Let's go from Wimbledon to Beckenham Junction While we debate if we're in Surrey or London See Civic gems like the Croydon Clock Tower And the BRIT School which gave the world Dane Bowers Travel in style to fabulous places Watch out for the occasional racist Every journey an adventure, and so It's the only way to go And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram Let's got to Beckenham-nam-nam to Mitcham-ham-ham And it's fun, fun, fun On the Croydon tram, tram, tram

Hurry up, you're not packed Get your money, get your bags We'll never make it to North Wales Where all the lasting things are grey Past Rugby, Coventry, Shrewsbury, Oswestry The town we really want to see Is shortened to Llanfair PG Llanfair PG Llanfair PG Let's go to Llan-vire-pooll-guin-gill-go-ger-u-chwurn-drob- ooll- llantus-ilio-gogo-goch On the way up we check the route, we check the plans Past Birmingham And Dudley You ask if we are astray, but no way I know these roads like the back of my hand Did you bring a flask? I am the king of the M1 Hang about we're not lost And who's driving anyway? It's not Torbay Like Doctor Who you should have gone before you came But all the same we'll find a Little Chef and then we can check where we should be For Llanfair PG Llanfair PG Llanfair PG Let's go to Llan-vire-pooll-guin-gill-go-ger-u-chwurn-drob- ooll- llantus-ilio-gogo-goch ooll- Llanfair PG

It was a beautiful day but I wanted more And a man said "Let me take you for a ride! Step this way for my mystery tour!" And he led me to a bus with words on the side It had something to do with how my money was spent "Ach! Vandals again! I didn't write that! Ignore it! That isn't what I meant!" He seemed a trustworthy sort so I sat He said "Take a seat! Is the future too scary? Does the world make you wary? We'll help you escape it! Boom-bang-a-Brexit!" So I'm waiting to move and he said "hold tight There's a magical land and it's called 'the past' But this bus will only steer to the right So we may not get there especially fast" Now, I was chatting to some folks, we were getting along But the driver wrapped them up in a Union Jack And he pulled it away and Boom! they were gone "There's no room for them here - they were holding us back" I started to worry - I thought what if This bus is really heading off a cliff? But then I heard cackling and I saw the driver Running off with a beer and a bag full of fivers Maybe the wrong choice but let's see it through It was a bus-full of people and now it's just me The wheels are stuck in a rut, but that's Britain for you The past’s going nowhere and neither are we So take a seat! The world is scary, can you take it? We'll help you escape it! (Although we might fake it) Boom-bang-a-Brexit Even if the bus wrecks it We'll pretend we can make it It's not our fault if we miss it We could half-bake it Would you risk it for a biscuit? Boom-bang-a-Brexit

Frau Callaghan, ze people of Edinburgh dream of electric sheep, because zay still, have NO TRAM! Vot Fräulein Hypnotique! Ve must take Arthur's Seat, stick it up the Holyrood and construct zis tram tonight, but how vould it be? Let's go from Princes Street to Edinburgh Gateway Balgreen to Gyle Centre have you been there lately? Wave as we pass Ingliston Park and Ride No need for cars, by tram we can glide It's the newest kind of public transport Just 30 minutes from Haymarket to the airport Take a flight to Frankfurt or Lanzarote Or the sunny East Midlands, it's not grotty Ministers, get the tram project back on track Or let's take the 100 bus and give us our money back Every journey an adventure, and so It's the only way to go And it's fun, fun, fun On the Edinburgh tram, tram, tram And it's fun, fun, fun On the Edinburgh tram, tram, tram Let's got from Shandwick Place, it's ace to Gogarburn, it's fun And it's fun, fun, fun On the Edinburgh tram, tram, tram Edinburgh Tram!

People crammed in 4, 3, 2, 1 zones Beats are pumping through iPod headphones Check that hot guy in the suit, give him a look He thinks you’re mental, so he reads his book Trains are running in the wrong direction Got a feelin’ it’s a mixed up sign I can see it on page 6 of Metro Over the shoulder of the sexy guy So crushed the crowd is pushing me higher My arse is being felt from down below Pickpockets have pinched my new phone It’s a sound I know We’re down with the underground We’re so getting hip to the deep shaft sound To Cockfosters let’s go Piccadilly Palare to Arsenal Out on the District line Be the victim of a petty crime Circle line round and round It’s the sound of the London Underground Last tube southbound on a Friday night People screaming, singing, starting fights Pissed up wankers board at Leicester Square Wave your knickers like you just don’t care Party girls singing One Direction Got a feelin’ they’re on mixed up wine Lost tourist asks for directions Gonna show him a real good time tonight Let’s take a ride quench our desires Just check the balance on my Oyster Card Fifty Shades of Gray on Kindle Fire It’s a sound I heard We’re down on the underground Let’s groove with the rats to the deep shaft sound To Upminster let’s go With a long delay quite near Plaistow Out on the line Northern Fall asleep you’ll wake up in Morden Circle line round and round It’s the sound of the London Underground Monday morning weekend lusts forgotten Commuters fighting for the one last seat So crushed the crowd is pushing me higher My arse is being felt from down below Pickpockets have pinched my smartphone It’s a sound I, it a sound I know We’re down with the underground We’re so getting hip to the deep shaft sound To Cockfosters let’s go Piccadilly Palare to Arsenal Out on the District line Be the victim of a petty crime Circle line round and round It’s the sound of the London Underground

Agus is spraoi, spraoi, spraoi é ar Luas, Luas Bhaile Átha Cliath (Translation: And it's fun, fun, fun on Luas, Luas Dublin) A lovers' Leap for Vicki Pipe and Geoff Marshall Another tram song will be contro-varshall Across the Liffey in a jiffy, it's a nice jaunt The rhymes are iffy but let's get to The Point Let’s go from Cheeveston to Red Cow and Heuston There’s thirty stations on the Red Line to choose from Let’s go to Leopardstown and Brides Glen if there’s time To Windy Arbor, Cherrywood, on the Green Line Let’s stop at Trinity to read the Book of Kells Toast a Jameson whiskey in Smithfield as well Let’s take a selfie on the Ha’penny bridge near Jervis Luas means speed; it's an exceptional service Let's go from Connolly to Saggart or Rialto It's the Luas way to go And it’s fun, fun, fun On the Dublin tram, tram, tram And they've gone, gone, gone On the Dublin tram, tram, tram Let’s go from Dundrum-rum-rum To Grangegorman-man-man And it’s fun, fun, fun On the Dublin tram, tram, tram It's the Luas...